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4 years ago
Jan 30, 2010
Yes, I'm Happy today.
Despite getting up way earlier than my usual routine of the past 2 months. And feeling sleepy, groggy, shitty throughout the journey to Putrajaya.
Introducing the reason why I am having huge amounts of endorphines at the moment...
Cheng, Cheng, Cheng, Cheng!!!
THIS is my small baby, leather boots from Snowfly. Absolute Comfort.
I've been eye-ing it since forever, but it's kinda pricey. Usually RM399 for boots. And of all the places I went, there are no Snowfly boots lesser than RM399, not even a RM398. HUH.
But today, is my Lucky day! cause I spotted one that is RM329 before discount, and because it's sales period and bonus link card day, i get a 20% off from this boots. Total amount>> RM266.50 =D It's not too bad right???
I'm freaking happy right now. It's uber duper superbly comfortable, VERY stable, double leather meaning inner and outer, and it was the last pair for my size. Dad chose the one that has the broadest and lowest stump cause Wellington is a hilly place and Daddy believes that women and young ladies should not be wearing impractical shoes. XD
I Love Daddy So Much when it comes to shopping.
Cause he doesn't mind paying the extra in exchange for good quality stuff (unlike Mom), the best part is he doesn't nag about it after expensive purchases (maybe a little lah).
Even though it would have been better if it were tanned brown istead of black, but I'm happy enough. Woohoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other than that, I spent RM60 on stationeries, which is pretty alot to me. Dad bought a cabin luggage for me too. And we're gonna go get some winter clothing tomorrow I guess.
Really, preparing for the overseas uni thing is overwhelming. Today I went to get the Certificate of Good Conduct done, and med reports are out, hopefully nothing is wrong with my body, all that's left is to pay for my tuition fees, get the official receipt and then I can send in my application for student visa and pay for flight tickets. And of course, more shopping.
All of these spells Money, and I'm glad that my Dad is such a wonderful Dad who is really prepared for this. To have enough funds to send his children to better places, better worlds, better opportunities. It may not exactly be the best if you want to compare Top in the World Schools, but definitely my dad DID his best to provide.
First of all, I got the chance to go overseas, and then, Dad allows me to go Wellington instead of his preference, Canterbury, and then he's really telling me alot of stuff about New Zealand, tips on how to survive the cold there, what to do and what not to do's....
Im so Excited and Scared at the same time. But you know, that's what makes life itself, more interesting ;)
SO...........................................................
Happy face sial
I'm kissing my boots to sleep tonight. Ciao tweeps =D
Jan 28, 2010
Tomorrow I'm going to leave very early to KL, to Putrajaya to be exact. AND THEN Subang, my dear and lovely Subang.
Mission number one: Get the Certificate of Good Conduct
Mission number two: Get the Certified Provisional Statement of Results
Mission number three: Discuss things with the Agency
Mission Impossible: Fake a reason to meet up with my fellow comrades, naming L, H and W.
Undertaking the strategy of the need to take a shit using the toilet in college, giving me 20 minutes of precious time for a short visit.
Is the goal worth it?? HMMMMMM. It involves risks of lying(actually it already IS lying), getting back to the General(DAD) to report for duty LATE, cause short meetings can extend to long meetings. And the unbelievable amount of scolding I would get from the General.
SIGH.
Furthermore, I may be going to Singapore to do my Visa instead, cause Dad says it's faster with the courier thing not needed anymore.
ENTAH-lah, if I trust the agency, my Dad would accuse me of not trusting him. GRR. Why am I in the centre of a pointless situation?!??
What's more is that the agency tells me to be in NZ before 17th, Dad disagrees and even booked tickets for 3 possibles dates, 21/22/23, while accusing them saying that they don't know anything, they "simply say onli". WTH. ISN'T THIS THEIR JOB??? They are the professionals, and WE are the poor people who needs their much appreciated service. GAWD.
A lot of complications just because Dad doesn't agree nor trust the Agency.
He's thinking too much, or I'm not worrying enough?
WHATEVER.
PS: I finally peeled off my keyboard protector. It's ridiculous cause it makes me work so much less efficient. Now, it's naked, and I like it! XD
Jan 27, 2010
I'm all grime and slime here cause I've not bathed properly for today.
NAH, not exactly so dirty, just not my usual cleanliness.
WELL, I'm still busy actually, with my Uni stuff, haven't got my ass settled properly yet, which is the reason why I've not taken my bath.
SIGH*
But then, I'm happeh..XD
Relevant (note relevant) Missions I've accomplished for today:
1. Medical Check up
2. Visit The Commissioner of Oaths
3. Paid the Application Fee for Accommodations using credit card
4. BATHED- now it's 12.51am
Irrelevant (note IRRELEVANT) Missions accomplished:
1. Ate in the restaurant that sells good prawn mee and giganting curry puffs near Putra Hosipital
2. Bought my cleanser from The Face Shop
3. Spent days without playing The Sims 3
*******************************************************
Irrelevant Missions YET to accomplish:
1. Feast on Nyonya Food, Chicken Rice Balls, Dim Sum, and Satay Celup before departing Malaysia.
2. Lose weight, dammit.
3. Buy shoes, extra pair of glasses, contact lenses, clothes, boots.
4. If possible, a year's supply of MILO. Aku memang Orang Malaysia k? =D
5. CUT MY HAIR.
6. Buy moisturisers, weather in wellington is windy, and in winter cold. so... i dun wan my skin to start peeling when i get there.
************************************************************
I can't believe I'm not going to be here soon.
To witness the hot weather, driving around the streets of Malacca.
Even though the excitement, I know it will soon wear off.
And I know that I'm going to cry alot when I leave this place.
It's like tearing a piece of paper, making two pieces out of one. Inevitable, the pain, tears and the longing, that I will have for you.
Jan 26, 2010
I should get myself used to writing more normal things, describing my everyday life. Instead when I have some raging hormones in me, and type out emo shit (sheet)..
ANYWAY.
My results were beyond my expectations. really like Durian Runtuh.
Accounts: A-which i thought I would get the higest a B because i finished the paper 20 minutes before time, and its not because I'm sure of my answers
Maths: A-which i had doubts for cause Statistics was a killer and I thought I didn't do well enough for Pure Maths.
Sociology: B- BIGGEST shock ever because I struggled with the idea of hitting even a C, beause i freaking FAILED for trials and this subject is my weakest point. Only 2 out of 40++ students which is 5% would get an A.
I have been busy preparing for overseas prep. Having a Medical Check up tomorrow, and going to Putra Jaya with Daddy and my cousin to get the Certificate of Good Conduct. Will be meeting the agency too.
Waiting for the unconditional offer from the University and a guarantee for accommodation so that I can start doing my student visa.
Procedures, if only I could skip all of these and just jump from Point A to Point B.
THAT, will be awesome =)
I slept at 5am yesterday ad woke up at 2pm with my bunch of guy cousins.
We stayed in an aunt's house who was not even around, so it was all to ourselves. They took my laptop away to play dota, cause one cousin didnt have a laptop, so he "pinjam" mine lo. And I had to play with the iPod Touch because there's nothing else to do, worse still, i HATE touch screen. GRR
It's 2.19am already, can't sleep because i'm awake for just about 12 hours. Hopefully I will be able to sleep.
I'm really lazy to blog actually.
I live a screwed up life. Ciao.
Jan 24, 2010
Today is the 24th of January, time:8.23pm.
Just about 12 hours more for my results to release online. You can imagine how much I'm going to freak out later in the night. I hope I won't start chewing on my nails.
To sleep or not to sleep tonight? I've got enough supply of movies to kill some serious time.
But then, I didn't have much sleep yesterday, been groggy the whole day, slept in the car in between destinations and stuff.
So... FINE, sleep LAH, with doubts of whether I'm able to or not of course.
Tried to distract myself by playing TheSims3 again. Saved and quited for now(11.32pm)
Have not taken my bath. Procrastinating.
Less than 9 hours to go. Perfect amount of sleeping hours.
I'm feeling so confused right now and I don't know why. I'm not thinking in my right mind man. GAH!!!
I can't even form a sentence properly.
I'm too nervous.
SOMEONE SHOOT ME PUHLEASEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 23, 2010
I am imagining, in this world of fantasy of mine.
A girl is in the field, so wide that the horizons stretch indefinitely, and the smell of flowers, rich in the air as the wind blows into her hair.
Look closely, and you would see that she is running with excitement on her bare feet, feeling the softness of the blades of grass underneath her foot sole.
She runs with a hand high up in the air, as if to catch the wind. A foolish but innocent gesture.
She is wearing a picnic hat and a sleeveless dress with small flower prints all over.
Her hair is is brown, with strips of blond. Her eyes are bluish green, she holds a gaze that can penetrate your soul.
No one is in the field but her, but she is talking, running and laughing as if someone was there with her.
A someone that would be the only person she sees in this world of hers. Her full concentration to her one and only.
If you were a spectator, you would see that she is beyond satisfaction and happiness.
Now, what do you hear? The field is filled with her laughters of joy.
Love.
She is so beautiful.
Jan 22, 2010
I am officially a huge blob.
You can refer me as an "it", I don't mind at this point because I would call myself that.
IT feels nothing but boredom.
IT sleeps and eats according to human time.
IT's entertainment is The Sims3 and IT's education would come from watching Gossip Girl Episodes.
IT is lazy, blur right now, and dirty at the moment.
I'm describing my current self. How sad =(
Jan 21, 2010
YES, i'm mad.
About Canterbury, of course.
I am a very stubborn person, as you all know. When it comes to long term investments, long term commitment, which involves my long term "happiness", don't you think it's PERFECTLY normal to be picky?
Mom says i'm not grateful enough.
It may be true, but that's one part. The other part, where I'm very concerned about my FUTURE is also true. What's wrong about that?
No way I'm going to some place which specializes in engineering while I'm looking for business.
It's INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Instincts, your sixth sense, whatever, is very important. Isn't it?
Going to Canterbury means denying my instincts. I have an absolutely solid feeling about going to Wellington.
You do not question someone's instincts cause you know it exists and most likely unexplainable.
SO, why can't my instincts be understood this time???????????????????????????????
It is MY uni life, not my parents'.
I would want to go somewhere I choose as long as its within Dad's means.
So what the heck??
I feel like screaming.
Jan 19, 2010
To be honest, I am very anticipating a change in my life.
And that change will come when I move on, to somewhere else, meet new people. In this case, to the University, where everything is just waiting for me. And for me, to be there.
College had been great, the ups and downs all together. The fun I've had, the tears I've cried.
Now I'm on the way to another stage, climbing up the ladder, socially or education-wise, knowing that it brings me to a higher place unless I choose to step down.
I've learnt that no matter how much I wished I could turn back time, to change situations that I regretted or not contented with, while putting my best efforts but not changing a thing, is the time where I should prepare to take my bags and leave. I should, but sometimes I don't. The conscience of “sincerity wins hearts” pulls me back into sticky situations. It's not totally a bad thing because in certain cases it does work. But you will know when enough is enough.
Was it my heart or was it my ass too heavy to move on?
Maybe I have to learn to be a bitch sometimes, whenever it's appropriate.
I am 20 this year. Things that happened when I was 19, is history.
Memories should remain memories. Not to be confused with the reality of the present. What is here and now, is what's more imporant.
But still, I'll bring my memories wherever I go, I will not forget because I had immensely loved everything that was before me. And still do.
To you whom I do not know yet,
I may meet you this time, the you that would be one of the most important events in my life.
I have always loved you. But you don't know that. At least not yet.
The heart that was broken, heals in time, because I choose to live now, not the past.
All of these, just one more month.
Jan 18, 2010
Due to over-obsessively playing the sims3, i have been neglecting my blog for a few days and staring at the screen like an idiot.
SIGH.
Anyway, quick updates.
1. I went laptop accessories shopping few days ago. Bought a cooler pad, mouse, headphones attached with a mic and a keyboard protector (which i'm tempted to peel it off cause it's very annoying and hard to type, seriously, but dust-free keyboard is also equally important. oh wat the heck.)
2. Downloaded movies, collecting them for future purposes, like, killing time during flights.
3. My results are out in less than a week. Shoot me please.
4. I think I seriously need to spend less time on my lappie.
5. I need to get a hair cut. Longest length I ever had now.
DARN. I lost my mood to blog. stupid keyboard protector is making me having alot of typo errors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Curse it.
I'll blog when i' in a better mood. Sorry!!! T-T
Jan 15, 2010
I'm back in Melaka. And i'm actually happy to be back here.
Subang was great and not-so-great at the same time. But who cares, i know that i did my best =)
As much fun as I had with L and her house mates and H, I did miss Melaka somehow somewhat when I was away ( which occurs for the first time!) maybe it's because i was missing my laptop,
Or just maybe, I'm missing my bed cause I slept in a sleeping bag which wasn't thick enough to save my butt from getting flat after a night's sleep. Imagine continuous nights. Unpleasant enough? lolz.
Had the freaking LONGEST journey back to Melaka. waited at the Subang bus stop for the bus to Pudu Raya for more than hour till i couldn't stand it. So, resorted to the alternative of taking the bus to the KTM station to seremban. then bought a 6.45pm bus ticket to melaka which came 30 minutes late and even had a 15 minute delay in a petrol station. Shitty journey seriously.
I started out to leave Subang at 3pm but reached my home at 9pm. SIX FREAKING LONG HOURS that would enable me to travel even further than Penang. I should make the biggest complain about how sucky public transportation is in Malaysia. HMMPH
The first thing I did when i came home was to kiss Daddy on the cheek at both sides as always, he did miss me very much. And then i dropped my bags and went straight to my room, to my laptop. On it. AHHHhhhhh..........! The feeling of much happiness, and i'm not joking ( I did really miss my laptop ALOT, witnessed by L, H and house mates).
Started downloading all the essentials, like skype, open office, VLC media, Google Earth, Java.... Anything more that I don't know of??
Now i'm dl-ing 500 days of summer, the lovely bones and a couple of albums on Utorrent.
AND the best part of it, apparently, after giving a friend of mine looking at the specifics of my lappie, the first thing he said was " you've got quite a machine here!"
HAPPY.
And wat's more, it's good enough to play The Sims3 on it.
EVEN HAPPIER. OMG! Now i jus need to get the game, a mouse, headphones, and maybe a cooler. since my lappie is using AMD chips and according to my friend it heats up pretty fast. Hope not, cause i'm sure to get addicted playing Sims3!! XD
Life's good like this. =D
And yes, this is the first post from my lappie. woohoo!!
PS: i got myself a perfume in Subang, Dreaming by Tommy Hilfiger. which i like(of course, if not i wouldn't have paid rm237 for it) but kinda regret a little because it's a little too strong for normal outtings. Should have bought Envy Me by Gucci. Sighs. Maybe I should get it, or not??
Jan 13, 2010
There's no need to beg if that person isn't listening to you. Nor does he want to give you a chance to prove yourself.
Even though my heart is heavy, all I can do is to just walk away and maybe hope that you would realise that you're being such an ass of yourself.
You tell me "us" doesn't exist. There's only "you" or "me".
I say, BULL SHIT.
You make it sound as if we're couples just broken up, didn't you tell me that we're mere friends? WE agreed on that.
So what are you saying now? That even the word "friends" do not exist? Selfishness.
I can't believe you. It hurts when you say that.
It hurts when you are able to laugh with someone else but me, just because of your prejudice-ness and personal interest which does not have me in that list any more.
It's just too unfair.
All I ever want now is just to be myself when I'm around you, and for you to give me that chance. Instead, you gave me that cold shoulder that i don't deserve.
Who are you? Why am I getting so upset by you? And according to you, it doesn't mean anything when I cry in front of you.
Seriously, what the hell am I doing? And who the hell are you to treat me this way. I'm only human, I am capable of feeling hurt.
Don't be so cruel to people, especially those who cared for you the most.
Jan 12, 2010
In Paul Coelho's book, "the Witch of Portobello" , a sentence doesn't make sense or at the very least very hard to decipher, if all the words were joined together. The spaces are crucial.
Although you have mastered the words, yet you haven't mastered the blank spaces.
Keeping in touch with yourself. Meaning your soul, intuition or primary emotions. But the word soul has more significance to it.
Sometimes we would drown ourselves with things that surround us. Work, Objects, people anything in this world. Until we become so tired and just slide into a trance, detaching our bodies from the current world and just be who we really are inside, that has been waiting too long to break free. And then when exhaustion takes over, we surrender, with sweat or maybe even tears, to much relief. We feel released, finally.
U know, yesterday i felt my soul was wandering away from my physical body. it's getting harder for me to keep in touch with it. It's calling me to catch it back quickly before i lose sight of it.
It's so scary because no one was there to talk about this to.
And i felt very insecure over my own being. The pathetic-ness of it.
I can't live like a sentence that doesn't make sense just because of the missing blank spaces in between.
I cant work the hell of myself just to forget what is bothering me.
I need those blank spaces. I need my place of rest. So that when i finish a word, being provided that blank space, i can focus again on the next words that come along to complete the sentence.
So when this happens, I need you to be around.
But you're not there.
Jan 9, 2010
I'm back in melaka for awhile then i'm off to subang again tonight. So i might as well take the chance to write wat has been going on for the 3 days in subang =)
WELL. First day, I went to many places, KLCC, Pavillion, Starhill Gallery, Sungai Wang, Times Square, alot of shopping malls but didnt get anything but hair accessories. HOW LAME.
I was swirling in shopping heaven but only tasting the littlest of it. HMMPH
second day was an event full of sleeping. haha. We were so tired the day before that we slept throughout the morning and then woke up to stop sleeping, and then slept again in the evening. We even delayed our morning jog, to evening jog and then to night jogging, but in the end didnt do it at all!!! Pigs, we are. XD
We started off the third day pretty late. Went to Bukit Cahaya for some fresh air and an unexpected serious workout cycling. We got lost on our way out of the park but thank God that everything was ok in the end =) I don't know y im so not in the mood to blog about the Subang events. Maybe i'm just having another lazy day. sigh. off to subang after dinner later!! ^^
PS: i woke up this morning having a pain in my butt. Too much cycling.
Jan 5, 2010
I'm going to Subang tomorrow.
God knows how long I've waited for this day to come.
Plus factor, i'll be staying with L, instead of my sister. Thank God.
Dun get me wrong, it's not that i dont like my sister, it's just i need to be away from everything and just be myself. do what i want to do, do what i NEED to do. without any constraints, curfews. i really dun want my sister to be worried about me or in any way burdened, during my stay in subang. because it would be difficult for me to get things done.
A golden opportunity to recuperate, just what I needed.
I need to end things that have been left hanging last year. It's eating me up like crazy.
So I pray to God,
Please, let everything fall into place once again. All hurt forgotten, new doors open. People that I care for the most are people who I am having problems with, the bitterness of it be gone I pray. There are too many things that seems so uncertain. I have waited patiently for this opportunity. Help me to make the right decisions, to say the right things. I don't want to lose another piece of my heart, so little that it's left.
Amen.
Jan 2, 2010
I remembered what I wished for in the early days of 2009.
Many things, that in the end didn't turn out at all.
Was it because of the choices that I made? The wrong turns that led me this way.
For some of us, the beginning of the year means the end of the holidays.
Some may be excited, to see their friends in school again. But yet, others may grumble and wished that they had a longer holiday.
Or even some are sleeping late the night before school, doing last minute homework and assignments. I'm sure many of us were once like that.
And of course, there are those who missed the company of someone special. waiting on their toes, looking towards the day they'll meet again.
For those who are far away.
Holidays, where we also spend time with our families. Especially those who have been away from home, would love the every seconds and minutes of this precious time till they need to go away again.
Leaving is temporary, physically. Because our heart is what holds the eternity to something. The faith, belief and hope. Giving it life that keeps the fire burning. Intangible but definitely evident.
This new year.
What are you looking forward to?
Or are you running away from something?
Maybe, it's a relief that the worst nightmares are over? Or just the starting of dreams and sweet memories.
For some, new relationships to begin. Making history together, walking down the road with each other. With smiles and laughter
But also, there are people with relationships to end. Forgetting the past, tearing away pages of evidence. To move on. To mourn and be sad. But also awaiting the day to rise like a phoenix again.
Can we really get rid of our past?
I don't think we can, but we must move on. And not repeat our mistakes.
Lessons are learnt but the pain, maybe not yet, not now, somehow, not forgotten.
Time, our only hope, for our dreams to come to realisation.
Be it we are feeling afraid or excited, recovering from hurt or hoping for something, to everyone I love, and always have loved, be a better person, have better relationships, make better decisions, everything better.
All of these I wish for the all of you, take care.
Happy New Year.
;;
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