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4 years ago
Dec 10, 2009
I HATE UNIVERSITY APPLICATIONS. YES. Today's full of HATE. DARN.DAMN. and F***.And the weather here is not helping at all. It's freaking HOT.
Yesterday had a talk with Dad. He still hasn't made up his mind on where he is sending me to further my studies.
It's VERY FRUSTRATING. because i cant even decide where i want to go. and i have an urgent need to know what's going to happen next year NOW. Everything is making me so unstable. and i really don't want to screw up my entire life going to the wrong universities.
At the very most important point of my life, why cant i decide for myself, as long as it's within the boundaries. It's my future, i don't want anyone to pull the strings of my body. I feel like taking a big scissors and cut of everything that is stopping me from what i'm trying to grab hold.
I want to fly, somewhere so far, that no one knows me there, start from scratch, i don't care. I'll just bring my essentials. my tools of communication, basic stuff to survive.
I feel like leaving everything that is holding me back. no matter if it's for my own good. now is the time, i really want to STRETCH all the way, with the space,already so small, that's given, please, don't make it even smaller. I'll try very hard to make the best out of MY decisions. But if i fall, let me. I want to learn this lesson alone. i don't need ppl to tell me that im doing wrong things. because no one's perfect. You know that, and i know that too. so please STOP. Stop talking as if i don't care about myself, stop talking as if you knew me or understand what i've been through. Stop underestimating me. I hate it.
Sorry ppl. i need to calm down. and u know wat. i have to get back to my university applications. F***
PS: i'm really THAT pissed.
Labels: Mood swings
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